Zurich yeah?

Just a quickie. If you were born with a penis or you aquired one in later life through a drastic life choice, then you might enjoy going to the toilet in Zurich.

Either you get to pee on little pictures of flies:

Or you might prefer a more sporty pee-break:

All of which I’m told are to encourage you to aim better.

Bye for now, Tom.

P.S. I’ve now realised that this is my second post relating to toilets, hmm….

Here’s the thing. When I compare the laws in Switzerland to those in UK, which of course I will do, they confuse me. There seems to an odd mix of good and bad ones. For example, there doesn’t appear to be the strict Health & Safety regulations that hounded my lab work back in the UK. This, I approve of. Until I get a laser in my eye or a virus in my bloodstream.

There are also laws which I have never heard of before. You can get fined for leaving a Guinea pig alone in isolation for example! So buy two! But what happens if one dies, and leaves the other alone? I think it’s the same for cats who live in apartments. Speeding fines are given out proportional to your income and the speed, so in theory you could get a $1.1 million whopper! See article for proof.

You should probably take heed to obey the unspoken rules too. These include; no littering, walking across a red light or not at a crossing, being late, or disposing your recycling passed the recommended time in the eveing. I tend to disobey these as I’m a rebel without a cause baby, yeah! Should I advertise that on here?

As Switzerland is a country without insane law suits or small claims, if you see a sign, like ‘no swimming’, it’s best to obey or you could end up being pumped head first through a hydro-dam or something! 

Oh and no shops are open on Sundays (with the exception of the main stations). Supermarkets closing at 7-8pm also takes a bit of getting used to, especially when the last city you lived, London, in was pretty much 24hrs. But that’s cool.

Also, don’t freak out if you see a young man walking down the street or getting on the bus with a MASSIVE FUCKING SUB-MACHINE GUN. They can legally keep it when they leave military service. #fb

Most Swiss-German speakers will helpfully switch to High-German or even English if your German is crap. However, I should probably comment on some language issues that have popped up since my arrival in this Swiss-German city. In no particular order:

1) If you either fear chilli peppers or are (as I friend of mine is) allergic to peppers, then you may find it helpful to know that peppers are called pepperoni and chillis are called pepperoncini. Also, pepperoni is called Salami.

2) Although ‘danke’ is fine, most Zurich folk use ‘merci’. Probably sounds more posh.

3) ‘en guete’ is used rather than ‘guten appetit’. I quite like saying this as it looks like a know the language. I don’t. Of course.

4) When you first arrive you will hear ‘gruezi’ quite a bit. Don’t panic. It means hello and not ‘get out of my country’.

5) There are about 10,000 words for cheese and no word for war.

6) Apparently, people use ‘adieu’ here. The Englishman in me would just think this is a bit French. However, if I was a Frenchmen (yuck!), it’s a pretty strong word which you’d say to someone you will never see again. Like “to God”.

Note: one of these points is a joke.

#fb